[001: video]

[inhistorybooks]

I’ve seen a lotta weird stuff in my time on Enterprise, but the Barge might just take the cake. This isn’t really anything like I’d expected it to be. Of course, I’m not really sure what I did expect it to be, but this sure isn’t it. It’s definitely gonna take some gettin’ used to, but I guess I don’t have a lotta choice or anything. I’m not sure the Admiral’d appreciate me chickening out only a coupla days in, and I’m definitely not plannin’ on throwin’ in the towel anyways. I’ve got a deal ta follow through on.

[...]

Funny thing is, now that I think about it, I don’t really remember actually makin’ the deal. Or more like, I don’t remember meetin’ the Admiral. I know why I’m here, I’m just not quite sure how it happened. Is that normal?

Anyways. I'm Commander Charles Tucker, former Chief Engineer on board the starship Enterprise. Everyone calls me Trip.

... I don't suppose there's any chance of getting to check out the engines on this thing?

Comments

[Video]

[bunchasavages.livejournal.com]

I'm confused. Do you know what gay means? Do you have gay?

[Video]

[so-meretricious.livejournal.com]

In the context of myself, being a man, it would mean that I am a womaniser, as I previously stated.

{Irritation abounds.}

[Video]

[bunchasavages.livejournal.com]

No. No - just...

No. That's not "gay".

Holy shit.

Homosexual, asshole. Are you homosexual.

[Video 1/4]

[so-meretricious.livejournal.com]

{...Now that one he understands.}

[Video 2/4]

[so-meretricious.livejournal.com]

 

[Video 3/4]

[so-meretricious.livejournal.com]

{. . .}

[Video 4/4]

[so-meretricious.livejournal.com]

Certainly not!

[Video]

[bunchasavages.livejournal.com]

[Randal is just watching the outrage unfolding.

And then...]

You sure?

[Video]

[so-meretricious.livejournal.com]

I am certain.

[Video]

[bunchasavages.livejournal.com]

Do you know what "homosexual" means?

[Video]

[so-meretricious.livejournal.com]

I am well aware of the term.

[Video]

[bunchasavages.livejournal.com]

I'm talking about the kind of homosexual where you like to have sex with guys.

Is that the kind you're talking about?

[Video]

[so-meretricious.livejournal.com]

{No longer making eye contact.}

We are employing the same definition.

[Video]

[bunchasavages.livejournal.com]

So you don't like women, and you don't like men.

Inter-species erotica is very in these days.

[Video]

[so-meretricious.livejournal.com]

{More huffing.}

Be that as it may, it does not interest me.

[Video]

[bunchasavages.livejournal.com]

[Processing, because it's almost impossible to think that someone may not like sex.]

Are you one of those people who feels sexually attracted to inanimate objects?

[Video]

[so-meretricious.livejournal.com]

Decidedly not.

[Video]

[bunchasavages.livejournal.com]

Are you a eunuch?

[Video]

[so-meretricious.livejournal.com]

{He looks vaguely amused for a moment.}

I am not.

[Video]

[bunchasavages.livejournal.com]

You have a dick, and you don't want to put it in anything.

What's wrong with you?

[Video]

[so-meretricious.livejournal.com]

{After swallowing, blushing, turning away, and regaining a bit of his composure, Holmes is able to answer this question.}

I do not require it.

[Video]

[bunchasavages.livejournal.com]

You're so full of it.

[Video]

[so-meretricious.livejournal.com]

Pardon?

[Video]

[bunchasavages.livejournal.com]

You don't require sex? You're shitting me. What, like you're some kind of fucking robot?

Even Data's had sex.

[Video]

[so-meretricious.livejournal.com]

{It's: The Return of the Long Pause}

I have no need for such things.

{And...curious.}