[020: voice]

[inhistorybooks]

So, Ray's gone. I'm startin' to wonder if I'm ever gonna get assigned ta someone for more then a couple weeks before they vanish.

... There's somethin' I don't understand. Now, I don't pretend ta know people's reasons for needin' to go back home or anything, but I don't understand why wardens choose to leave permanently without completin' their deal. Choosin' ta leave everything for god knows how long ta complete a deal isn't somethin' you just toss around lightly. You're makin' a commitment to another person, and packin' up and leavin' because it's too hard or somethin' just seems...

I don't get it. And again, I'm not sayin' people who disappear are at fault, or that I get why people leave or anythin' but...

I'm here to do a job. And I'm not leavin' until it's over.

[Private to Fred]

Kinda weird meetin' someone when we're not actually ourselves and with a whole buncha memories that kinda... aren't ours, but it was nice ta meet you.

[Friends Filter - Martha, Kay, Capa, Sarah, Tim, Rex, Four, Kirk (yes even you), anyone else who should be on it.]

How's everyone doin' after that breach?

[Filtered to Tosh and Harper]

I know this might be some kinda "too many cooks in the kitchen" thing, but would either of you mind if I come down and take a look at the engines or somethin' once and a while? It's just, it's been kinda weird not havin' engines ta keep an eye on these last couple months and I'm not lookin' to step in and take over or anythin', I just want somethin' a little different then fixin' laundry machines and cleanin' up after people. [He's a chief engineer, not a maintenance guy and all that.]

Comments

private

[inhistorybooks]

What would he be getting out of it, if he wasn't just doing the right thing for the sake of being right? Watchin' us scramble and bite each other's heads off and blamin' it all on him must get tirin' after a while.

Re: private

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

Probably. But I'm not sure his judgement is right either - just from an observance point of view, it sort of feels like people are getting things they'd do anything for in return for serving him.

private

[inhistorybooks]

So?

Re: private

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

So... I dunno. I'd feel like I was being taken advantage of.

private

[inhistorybooks]

He didn't force me ta be here, Howie. If I wanted to leave, I would.

Re: private

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

But you wouldn't because you've got too much at stake.

private

[inhistorybooks]

If someone offered you somethin' you wanted, and said in exchange, they want you to do somethin' good for another person, and that it wouldn't be easy but it'd be worth it and no time would pass while you're gone, you'd really say no thanks?

Re: private

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

In... replacement for the duties I had in real life, in the position I had at home before I died - I'd think I was doing the right thing there, and owed my country, and the people I worked with and loved, more than a... deal for something I wanted.

What I want is to do the right thing - and I think the work I did was the right thing. After that, all the things I want are at home, in real life.

private

[inhistorybooks]

Then why not make your deal for that?

Re: private

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

Because that'd be requesting my life back.

Which would be at the expense of someone else's.

private

[inhistorybooks]

Really?

Re: private

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

Yes. Probably a child's.

It was made very clear to me before I died that... I was the best choice they had of victims. If it wasn't me, they'd go to the next best choice. Which, if my calculations are correct, would be a 12 year old girl.